tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83608769760390192692024-03-14T02:52:18.190-07:00Blue DiaryBluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-89436970393586625662013-07-24T13:26:00.001-07:002013-07-24T13:37:29.018-07:00Ramadan Kareem !<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">ہم ایک ایسے عھد میں جی رہے ہیں جہاں ہمیں اپنے دین پر عمل کرنے کی مکمّل آزادی حاصل ہے. ہم اس لحاظ سے خوش </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> قسمت ہیںکہ </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ہر زندگی کے شعبہ میں ہم اسلام کو لاگو کرتے ہیں مگر صرف نام کی حد تک. ہماری زندگیوں میں قرآن کا تصور بس ایک فال نکلنے والی کتاب کی حد تک ہے یا زیادہ سے زیادہ ہم اسے کیمسٹری کے پریودک </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ٹیبل جیسے رٹا لگا کر یاد کرتے ہیں اور سوچتے ہیں کہ شاید کیونکه </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ہمیں یہ ١٢-٢٠ سوره یاد ہیں ہم جنّت میں پراپرٹی کے ملک بن بیٹھے ہیں . بہت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ہوا تو حج کر کہ بچے کی جیسے </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> معصوم ہو گے اور سوچ لیا ک اب کیونک گناہ کوئی نہی بچا اسلئے جنّت پکّی ہو گیی.رمضان کی وزے ایک ایک کر کے گزرتے جا رہے ہیں اور میں سوچ رہی ہوں کہ کیا واقیی ہم نے جنّت کما لی؟ہم جو ہر روزے کا آغاز گرم پراٹھوں انڈے کباب بھاپ اڑاتی چاۓ کے مگ سے کرتے ہیں اور اختتام پکوڑے سموسے فروٹ چاٹ دہی بھللے شربت کھجور بھانت بھانت کی چٹنیاں اور الله بھلا کرے مسالا </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> پروگرامس کا ، مختلف انداز کی مہنگی سے مہنگی دیش افطار کی تیاری کے نام پر گھروں میں تیار کرتے اور پسند نہ انے پر </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> فرج یا ماسی یا دسٹ بن </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> کی نظر کرتے ہیں،ہم نے </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">اس سحر سے لے کر افطار تک کیا کمایا؟بھوک؟پیاس؟کچھ عربک کی </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ان آیات کا ورد جن کا مطلب تک ہمیں معلوم نہی. مطلب معلوم ہے تو </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> معنی معلوم نہی.یا پھر نماز جس میں ذہن پر آج کیا پکایا جایگا اور درزی </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> کو کس انداز کے کپڑے سینا کے لئے </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> دینا ہے سوار رہتا ہے. ان میں سے غلط کچھ بھی نہی. مگر سہی بھی کچھ نہی ہے. وہ روزہ جس کی غایت یہ تھی کہ ہم اپنے ذہن اور جسم سے غرض کو ختم کر کے اپنے نفس پی قابو پانا سیکھیں، اپنے غریب اور پسماندہ بھائیوں کی کیفیت کا ادرک کریں دنیا میں اپنے ہونے کا جواز کسی نیک کا </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">م کیصورت میں </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> پیدا کریں، اس روزے کو ہم صبح </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> چاے کے کپ مے ڈبو دیتے ہیں اور شام میں شربت کے گلاس میں سے نکل لیتے ہیں. ہم سے کتنے ہیں جنہوں نے اس رمضان میں کسی </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> غریب کے بچے کو لکھنا پڑھنا سکھایا.پاکستان میں بہت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> سے لوگوں کو قرآن پڑھنا نہی اتا ، ہم سے کتنے ہیں جنہوں نے رمضان میں کسی کو قرآن پڑھنے کی تعلیم دی، یا قرانی آیات کا مطلب بتایا. ہماری اپنی اولاد کو گنتی کی چند سوره یاد ہیں جن کے </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> معنی اور مفہوم سے وہ نا </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> آشنا ہیں.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> غلط یہ بھی نہی ، مگر یہ صرف نقطہ آغاز ہونا چھائے تھا، اصل سبق کہاں ہے؟کیا ہم نقطہ آغاز پی اٹک کر رہ گے اور یہیں لٹکے رہیں گے؟</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> کیا ہم کبھی اسلام کے اصل معنی اور اغراض کو نہی پا سکیں گے؟ایک نی روایت یہ چل نکلی ہے کہ رمضان کو اب ایک مہینے کی بجاے ذاتی حیثیت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> میں مخاطب کیا جاتا ہے. رمضان آییں گے، رمضان جاییں گے رمضان آ چکے ہیں. جبکہ یہ صرف ایک مہینہ ہے، تقدیس کا تصور مختلف ہے اور اسکو ذاتی شکل دینا مختلف ہے.ہمیں ہمیشہ پوجنے کے لئے بت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ہی کیوں چاہیے ہیں؟ چاہے وہ عبادت کا بت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ہو یا روایت کا بت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">ہم عبادت کے عملی نتیجے کو نظر انداز کر کے عبادت کو ہی کعبہ کیوں بنا بیٹھے ہیں؟کیوں </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> کہا گیا کہ روزہ نہ رکھنے کا کفّارا بھوکوں کو کھانا کھلانےکی صورت </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> میں ادا کیا جا سکتا ہے؟یہ دونو باتیں ایک برابر اس لئے ٹھہرا </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">ی گییں کہ مقصد </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> ایک ہے، معاشرتی فلاح. دوسروں کا احساس.مگر اس جانب کسی کی توجوہ نہی ہے.عید کے لئے کپڑے تیار کے جا رہے ہیں، کھوے سےکھ</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">وا چھل رہا ہے </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> پکوڑے تلے جا رہے ہیں سموسے بن رہے ہیں مرغی روسٹ ہو رہی ہے، اشیاۓ صرف کی قیمتوں میں اضافہ ہو رہا ہے کیونک یہ ایک بھوکی قوم ہے....... بھوک بچی جا رہی ہے بھوک خریدی جا رہی ہے اور اس </span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> (بہت سے روزدار ایسے ہیں جنھیں روزے سے بھوک اور پیاس کے سوا کچھ حاصل نہیں ہوتا '( حدیث مبارکہ '</b>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-18491509566100678082013-06-15T09:50:00.001-07:002013-06-15T09:53:48.267-07:00Another stupid suicide note..!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was watching BBC with a cup of tea in my hand when I read about Jiah Khan's suicide in news headlines. My first reaction was doubtful circumstances. Who commits suicide like this?hanging from the fan..underworld ties maybe, like rest of the stars, that snapped back at her. She wasn't that famous anyways, but sexy yeah. I read and forgot, like we forget many news headlines...people committing suicide owing to poverty, women selling their kids to earn bread and butter for the rest of their siblings, road accidents due to negligence. In short, more of a don't care a fig sort of headline. </div>
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When I went to chat in the evening, Nix asked me if I had heard abt Ziah...who is he?I asked..the bolly actress that worked in Housefull 2..Oh her...hmm ..I did hear about her suicide, don't know why she took that step though...Career debacle what else, Nix replied. But she didnt really make it big..like ever! If it was some A grade actress who had faced a downturn I can understand, but Jiyah...she was just another face, easily substitute able. Nix's silent exuded the words he uttered on my callous reaction and as a clone entered the room, the topic of discussion changed. Later, browsing the net I looked up Jiyah's story and got a recent update...a suicide letter submitted by her mother unveiling the cause of her death. Having nothing better to do, I started on that 6 page suicide letter.</div>
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So? why did u say u died? I read again..You committed suicide because...</div>
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You had been through certain severe incidences like rape and abortion. But that's long gone....and you did survive it all, right?</div>
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Your boyfriend cheated at u...dump that bastard...than die for him?</div>
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You couldn't make it as big as you wanted....Life didn't end, did it? You were 26 forsakes!!You still had your chance.</div>
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He didn't bring you any gift though you waited so long for him to come back...what???come again???</div>
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He was disrespectful to your family, didn't even meet your sister, while you would bring his sister presents from every trip...You stupid stupid gal...should have dumped himmmm You hearing me? should have dumped the fuckerrrrr..!</div>
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It doesn't make sense Jiyah. Its a stupid stupid suicide note...maybe all suicide notes are stupid but yes this is the WORST OF EM ALL.Your life was too precious to be wasted on a moron like him. You think they are repenting that they treated you like a door mat? They are cursing you more that you made their lives hell even after leaving this world. You think bollywood cares? You think we care?I care? Nobody does...You are gone and we have the habit of forgetting people who leave. You went without a fight..date rapes, abortions, failures, complicated relations are things many gals have to face in life, maybe every fifth one has gone through one or more of these. They don't die, they fight. Like Amanat fought. If given a chance, she would have grabbed life, not thrown it away. How many would have taken you as a gift of God for them, but it was only him that you wanted...He maybe you life Jiyah , but he wasn't worth your life hun.</div>
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I feel so agitated, so angry, as tears well up in my eyes...I am angry at her..I am angry at media glamorizing suicides...I'm angry at her family..why couldn't they tell she was being suicidal. This is a society where women live a generally unhappy life. They are molested physically, socially and psychologically. They have to give a tough fight to just survive..few opt out, thinking its the easy way out..It appears stylish to kick the world goodbye than to cling to life like some spineless worthless creature....all that just cause they don't know what happens after they kick that chair under them, after they cut their wrists and let the blood gush out, after they drink it, swallow it, blow it.. I know what happens. Its this horrific excruciating pain of life getting scalped out of your body drop by drop, breath by breath..They don't show it on television, they didn't show it in dirty picture, or in any other movie like that, coz they cant. They cant show the remorse of that one moment where you realize everything could have been taken better give more time...the longing for that one chance, last chance to cling on to life. The chance they never get..</div>
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Jiyah's eyes are closed like many others. People may never see that regret, that hunger of one moment in her eyes..that is what I fear. I want every person to look at that in order to realize the real worth of their lives.I had my chance, many don't.</div>
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Cling on to life like a beggar. Please. This is what I want to tell, shout it out to all who are listening...DO NOT GIVE UP...DO NOT DIE ..I don't want to read another stupid suicide note...plz don't die.</div>
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Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-5389214357127263072013-06-13T11:58:00.000-07:002013-06-13T12:03:22.074-07:00The ones who got away <div style="text-align: justify;">
Since I was a kid I planned my life with the assumption that I will be famous one day. I dnt recall giving it a deliberate thought why and how will I be famous, but the assumption persisted till maybe 8 years ago. I was always caught up in the decision of writing my own biography or making a movie on it, 16 yrs of age I decided I was going to do both. My favorite pastime would be to re make songs and movie scenes in my mind, and later try to compare them with the actual ones. All that time convincing myself of my directorial abilities, preparing for the classic of all times.</div>
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Between then and now is reality. Im a nobody. All I ever had was my imagination. All Im left with is my perspective. I dnt want to make the movie anymore, or even write a book....but somewhere sometime when something reminds me of somebody, I do want to dedicate a chapter to them, as I had vowed earlier. The only problem is that I dnt seem to remember them . Names, faces, events all is blurred images only ..I see em as lights from some faraway car highlight a tree on the roadside for a minute, and then it sneaks back into darkness...I dnt knw what happened and what did not anymore. What I saw and experienced may never have happened, may have been a creative escape from reality is what jolts my mind and holds my hand. Writing it as real maybe a lie , writing it as fiction would be a dishonesty...but then, all reality is fiction itself. People I have dedicated chapters to in my life may never have even existed is something that scares the hell out of me. As I try to write about them I feel like Anna Olson, baking cookies of different shapes and sizes...thats all I do now...bake cookies, name them after the ones who got away...the ones I never even had a chance to call back. Im standing where they left me, trying to find my voice....silently baking my cookies..and throwing them away !</div>
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Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-74090816537456289542013-02-03T20:31:00.001-08:002013-02-03T20:33:17.283-08:00Identity<div style="text-align: justify;">
Couple of days ago while on phone my youngest sister told me she was writing something about transgenders and wanted to get it published in the news paper. <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">Transgenders?</span> I asked...<span style="color: purple;">why u dont approve of me meeting with them and writing about them? </span>she asked <span style="color: purple;">No</span>...I said...<span style="color: purple;">Im just amazed at you for going on selecting such a topic. Glad you aint the potato head bimbo I have always thought u were ....I indeed appreciate your effort of trying to create some awareness about it.</span> To which she took an offense...hah.. kids !!!...I asked her for a copy which she sent me promptly. Im posting her piece here coz I feel we all share the responsibil</span>ity...</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">HE…SHE…IT…<st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">NO PLACE</st1:address></st1:street> FOR
SHIM???</span></span><span style="color: #333300;"><br />
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Recently I and
some of my friends made a short documentary on transgenders to participate in a
documentary competition among different sections of my batch in University. For
this reason we went to visit a few transvestites. I never knew where they lived
but after using some contacts we planned a meeting at their place in Muhalla
Nawaban of <st1:state w:st="on">Bahawalpur</st1:state>
city and later we met one in Mohalla derawari, in the same city. Passing
through the narrow arteries I could see open drains and human waste all around
me. After talking to Sahiba, sapna, and a few others I gathered some facts
about this gender and the exploitation of their rights. Sahiba, the president
of transgender society in <st1:state w:st="on">Bahawalpur</st1:state>
started the conversation by saying:</div>
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<span style="color: maroon;">“God
created us as He created all. We are born of a father and a mother as all rest,
yet we are different. Our families may be ashamed of us but we know He loves us
and that is why we don’t feel disgusted about ourselves. They don’t call us
normal but we feel more normal than normal because we don’t let anything get us
down. What doesn’t kill us just makes us stronger.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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There I felt how ignored and marginalized
they are…even their parents disown them because of the scorn they have to face
from family, friends and neighborhood. In some cases if the parents don’t leave
them, they feel beatnik and join the transgender community by will because among
their own breed they are free to let their spirits out. This is how all these
left alones make one big family for their survival. Further she said:<br />
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<span style="color: maroon;">“I
have faded memories of my mother hiding me in her arms when my father would
beat me for wearing my sister’s make up and dressing up like her…I have that
warm refuge no more that can hide me from this cruel world. Sometimes I wish I
could lie down in her loving embrace and die.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We see many organizations working
for the under privileged but maybe the word doesn’t refer to transgenders.
There are only a few organizations made by the transgender community, which are
striving for their rights. Why? Only because they don’t belong to either of the
two genders or that they fail to conform to the stereotypical so called norms
of our society. On a question about dancing she said: <span style="color: maroon;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="color: maroon;">“We dance for the happiness of people we never dance
over a funeral…we are not involved in terrorism neither do we kill people. We
just dance and that’s not a crime.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many of the
Mulla’s and fundamentalists call them fitna and object on their life style. In <st1:country-region w:st="on">Pakistan</st1:country-region> when a
person reveals that he has a soul of another gender trapped in his body he is
taken as a stigma. Another astonishing fact revealed by Sahiba was: <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: maroon;">“There
are some transgenders who have long beards, they wear male clothes and have
respect in the society but when they meet us they say “aur saheli tera kiya
haal hai?” They talk to us like they belong here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Islam talks
about equality and rights, nowhere in Quran are transgenders said to be treated
the way they are treated by the torch bearers of Islam. We simply fail to
understand that there are certain attributes inherited by some males or females
from the opposite gender. They don’t do it by choice, it’s rather innate. It
could either be physical or psychological. Sexual orientation does not always
necessarily align with a person’s appearance. When asked about how they feel, a
transvestite said:<br />
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<!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<span style="color: maroon;">We feel like females from inside, we are inclined towards
males but in our community we consider it immoral to touch another transgender.
Males spend time with us, they love us but to save themselves from humiliation
they never introduce us to their family and one day leave us saying the same patent
sentence we hear all our lives that we are haram</span>.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only source of earning a
livelihood with an additional benefit of fulfilling their sexual needs is
prostitution. We don’t leave them with a choice. If they are given the right to
get married with a bit of social acceptance and education, they can turn out to
be productive members of our society, instead of being a dead weight on the
economy which is already hanging by a thread. Sapna said: <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: maroon;">“Some of us want to start a business, open a salon or a
boutique, some want to work in showbiz, we are perfect for these jobs. We have
a “double mind” and are very hard working. Some want to study like I do but many
of us take our dreams to grave.</span><br />
<span style="color: maroon;">Still we are happy with what we do. Dancing is a
hard job. A normal person loses breath after dancing for an hour we dance
barefooted on wet floors for hours.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Transgenders
in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Pakistan</st1:country-region>
are still deprived of basic human rights. If a girl gets raped people unleash
upon the culprit but who cares when a transgender loses his dignity? Our
society jumps on to the conclusion that their deviance from Islam and societal
norms has lead them to a point where people take advantage of them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Sahiba further said: <span style="color: maroon;">“ When someone from our
community dies molvi sahibaan refuse to offer our Namaz e Janazah because they
think its haram” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
The identity of approximately 80000 transgenders was denied for 64 years in
Pakistan Recognition of their identity is just a baby step towards the
rehabilitation of this social group. On a question regarding the issuance of
ID’s she said:<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: maroon;">“Chief Justice allotted us the right to self
identification. Before that we were non existent for this so called humanistic
society. But most of us still haven’t got ids. It is red tape.”<br />
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<!--[endif]--></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chief Justice of <st1:country-region w:st="on">Pakistan</st1:country-region> gave
them the right of employment but will this really help when they are not
educated in the first place? They face workplace discrimination. People don’t
offer them jobs at home because they are considered hateful and untouchable.
They are confused in which attire to choose in order to observe the dress code.
Eventually they are forced into begging and prostitution as they need to
fulfill their very basic need of food and shelter. <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
A transgender
said “ <span style="color: maroon;">People give us coins in alms but for prostitution
they offer us more</span>” <br />
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<!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We first
exploit them and then blame them for not maintaining their dignity. The fact is
none of us is a seraph, when we have acceptance for those who are special then
why can’t we create some acceptance for them? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the transgenders sitting
next to sahiba asked me a question that left me speechless....she asked…<span style="color: maroon;">”Could you please tell me the gender of an angel?” Are
they males or females….</span>and I felt as if I have shrank in my clothes and
become a dwarf in front of her. I could see her eyes getting wet…in a shaky
voice she continued:<br />
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<!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: maroon;">“When
a druggie , a thief ,a rapist is accepted as part of a family, part of this
society then why cant people accept us? You accept your brother if he gets out
of a filthy drain but you never accept us….are we that bad? We may have the
wrong body but our soul comes as pure as any other of the God’s beloved
creation. You can’t give us love but some respect?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not a
writer but I found it my social responsibility to highlight their issues. I
think Government should make separate schools and colleges for transsexuals
where they can get proper education and learn some skills other then dancing.
With that there should be a chapter on transgenders in the syllabus of elementary
schools which creates a sense of acceptability and respect for the third gender
among children. This will make our future generations treat transgender as
equals. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Ik
zara muhabbat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Bas
zara si izzat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Ik
nazar pyar ki <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Mujhay
aur kuch nhi sirf ehsas chhaiye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Is
dil ki bas yehi tamanna hai<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">mera
wajud namehsoos sey mehsoos ho jaye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;">jo
shanakht na mansoob thi kabhi mansoob ho jaye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-28024417355595375182013-01-24T01:21:00.003-08:002013-01-24T01:26:35.769-08:00Iridescence !<div style="text-align: justify;">
Something I have wanted to write about all this time still got no foothold...disarray of thoughts failed to develop in a logical flow. Maybe because I didnt really know the other side. Now that I have began exploring it, Im a little perplexed coz I still dont know the actual reasons. Why is our world growing 'not so religious anymore'? One reason I could identify from the talks of a few friends was the anti religion sentiment. People believe religions have lost their plot. Atheism and existentialism attract people mostly coz they have experienced the religious phenomenon to be more intense and sometimes unjustified, not coz atheism does hold any substance in its own. Therefore, most of the times atheism is advocated just in order to reject the religious branding.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Most of the reasons of not being religious presented to me were as follows:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><i>1. Most of the religious fanatics hate each other asserting that theirs is the only true path.</i></b> Then dont be a fanatic is my answer. No religion says neither have I read in any scripture that you should hate your fellow being coz he has different mental processes and ideologies , different beliefs than you. Its mostly upon you how to maintain a moderate approach. I know more about Islam so I would quote that to people who think Islam is an extremist religion. In Quran its said..''Tell them what u believe in, if they still wont believe in same, tell them their religion for them, you religion for u''. This phrase 'ur religion for u my religion for me' has been repeated twice in the same ayat, establishing the emphasis. Islam and Muslim are derived from the root 'Salema' which means peace and purity. This is the not only the literal meaning but is also the intended meaning. And I know each and every religion promotes peace and co existence. There are identified dimensions of rights of minorities in Islam and I remember reading it all in 9th standard. If I did, almost everyone would have. Still I see religious fanatics around. Its the meager 5 % that has hijacked our societal image. Jihad is a term often misused by these military activists. Jihad means standing against the tyrant, raising your voice. It can never be interpreted in brutal massacre of innocent people and children. I see non muslims co existing peacefully with muslims in almost all countries except for the subcontinent. Therefore implying a problem with interpretation of the religious bounds there. And why only Islam, Hinduism is a favored choice, Christianity is. The few religious fanatics from muslims, hindus or christians hating other religions or trying to convert them do not reflect on character of God. So why give up on God himself. Muhammad p.b.u.h eradicated slavery in Arabia. My atheist friends would acknowledge efforts of Martin Luther King Jr., but not Muhammad, in order to escape the religious tint. Bhagwat Geeta and Quran support women in stronger roles, emphasizing their respect and value, but they would choose to listen to Su Kyi and Calpurnia. Isnt it the same reverberation I say?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><i>2. We would prefer to follow the religion of humanity.</i></b> To that my answer is tell me one religion that is not the religion of humanity. The prime objective of every religion is same, core value structure is same. Its just operational definitions that are different. You may pray to God on a prayer mat, you may pray to him wid a thali in ur hand in a Mandir, its just Him. Why do we let the Maulvi or the Pujari or the Priest come in between us n Him. He wants u to respect and honor the lives of others, as for example in Quran. The ayat says 'he who kills one kills the whole humanity' but the Maulvi from Sipah Sahaba says kill the others they are non believers. Who shall be followed? Its the word of Quran against a stupid low life CIA sponsored Osama or any of the similar breed. Its on us to hear them out or reject them out rightly.<br />
<br />
In today's world I believe religion is the traumatized victim... people using it for their personal advantage or that of a particular group.It tries to rise above all the misconceptions and some of us drag it back again by doing something in name of religion that is exceedingly unfair to the others. It tries to voice itself through a few in society like Mansoor A.S and they have to face forfeiture pushing the religion further back to the dungeons. It now has to survive as a tormented slave in our society waiting for some of us to revive it back to its magnificently revered stature only to help the society back.<br />
<br />
<em style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: small; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: left;">"yada yada hi dharmasya<br />glanir bhavati bharata<br />abhyutthanam adharmasya<br />tadatmanam srjamy aham" <a href="http://hellonetfriends.com/bhagwat_gita/Chapter_Four_Bhagwat_Gita_Verse_7.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">(Bhagwat Gita: Chapter Four verse 7)</span></a></em><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: left;">"Sri Krishna said: Whenever and wherever there is a decline in virtue/religious practice, O Arjuna, and a predominant rise of irreligion—at that time I descend Myself, i.e. I manifest Myself as an embodied being."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And now why I want people to adopt a religion so badly? Whats different with someone who holds no religion and someone who does, regardless of the religion they follow? And the difference between someone who follows a religion is its true essence and someone who just follows another humans tagged a particular religious brand?Someone who believes in the religion and someone who just holds the garb of it ? Answer to all these questions is accountability. Whether its self accountability, term it Karma, call it the Day of Judgement, concept of heaven or hell...but it stems from religion, setting ethical bounds for one. In absence of reinforcement its difficult to maintain ethical composure. We as humans are slave of bounded rationality and we need logic to feed upon it. In my view religion is the basic source of that divine logic.<br />
<br />
Khuda kya hai muhabbat sirf muhabbat bas muhabbat .....</div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-8510755058092346652013-01-22T01:28:00.005-08:002013-01-22T01:33:38.397-08:00Guilty as Charged...The wake up alarm that killed the snooze button and turned itself in has been found guilty on all accounts!<div style="text-align: justify;">
It such disheartening to find yourself back and that too without a change...blahety blah...but then I dont actually know myself so I cant actually know if I did change at all or not...weird thoughts..In an overlapping voice I can hear Vineet saying '<b>t</b><i><b>umko koi andaza hai k tum kitna bolti ho</b>?</i>' and me replying '<b><i>ni</i></b>' ...falling off the couch with that....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Only if this chat was bugged n they broadcasted every sound u made....mine would have gone like rattling rots of laughter throughout.....maybe he is true afterall, that I dnt act my age, but then, thats what I am, thats what I feel like, a kid trapped in body of an elderly person trying hard to escape, and when it cant, it just sits there and mocks the person...maybe Im trying to make up for the years I lost in between..... When I wasnt myself but trying to be someone else.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Anywayz, these few months I have been away some good friends have taken real good care of me...two of my best friends, and one of them Silent, reads this blog, knows how I have tortured him with my continuous talk nineteen to the dozen, trying to make sense out of various events that have taken place on national and international front.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Obama won elections....and no the world didn't end. Both of these are interlinked somehow in the greatest universal pattern of existence. What if Mitt Romney were elected?we would then have a latest Hollywood sensation Paul Ryan as a debutante in a never ending soap opera. Well atleast till the clash of titans....Miss him though, was cute.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And yayyy....its going to be the first democratic govt. in Pakistan to complete its term. though my favorite Gillani was sent home by supreme court on an assault account. I remember then also bugging silent to death and cursing the Chief Justice like my 80 yrs old great grandma used to do....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A few shocking incidents, Delhi rape, I cant muster enough courage to talk about it even now, and Shahzaib murder case. Two incidents in two separate countries that altered the perception of societal integration of values. Garbled the state of evolution we supposedly were existing at. Something that gave us a reality shock, that there persists another world outside our warm living rooms that resound with laughter of kids and our frequent humming ..and that world is not only brutal and merciless but also completely anomalous to our kids.....I remember asking silent 'me apnay bachay kab tak bacha sakti hun' what will happen when I will have to introduce them to that world? when I will have to take em out of my wings n dole out to this monster....sooner or later I will have to do it...and there would be no recourse to it...before that happens, I have to change that world..make it a better place for my kids. Its like an investment policy we all have to take to ensure the future well being of our kids....invest a little everyday, contribute towards the societal upheaval in some manner, connect to that world outside our living rooms and try to help it out of its problems in ever meager way we can. Though derisory but its only these efforts that would assure a better world for our kids that we can open our doors to someday !<br />
<br />
SAY HELLO TO YEAR 2013 :)</div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-67221421754373408942012-09-27T07:16:00.001-07:002012-09-27T12:37:22.962-07:00Catch - 22<div style="text-align: justify;">
To the aggravated disappointment of many and pleasure of rest, I am not dead ! I was just a little inactive. ...and obviously on campus again. The only time I think about updating my blog is when I am running short of time on some important assignment. With that open in another window I keep on thuk thukaying the keyboard...and in the lab full of students, im the most thuk thukata person who seems to be raping the keyboard with full commitment. If my keyboard could speak I could have put together a new symphony of ooh..aah..ouchs...til it cried Khuda k liye bas kr now. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well, anything to drift my mind away from bitchy thoughts. Yes, I m gonna play again the villain as soon as them lot start presenting their research proposals....I dont want to do this though...but its like those weird wars inside ones own head that maybe Franz Kafika could write about and I cant write about. In short, Im going to do ''constructive criticism'' on my class mate's research proposals..''helping them'' to clarify their research direction and ''suggesting ''appropriate means of doing so by ''identifying'' suitable research techniques...<b><i>Bullshit</i></b>...Im doing it coz class participation got marks and the more I make them look bad the more I gain on my portfolio. <b>B!tch</b> ...hai na??? told ya....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
How about bribing myself with a doughnut n a ribena? Im thinking, that may silence me for some time....Hah, it gets more complex now, engaging in a war within, reporting on it n presenting and accepting bribes to ones own self...calls for Kafika only..keep the reinforcement going guddi, I tell myself. There are so many people who do so much good to me, I should be able to reciprocate the society back....but then, it is actually helping them. Ignore my motives, still im going to only identify the flaws that are already there, nothing im creating by my own imagination....will though I woud still have to face the chitti kaali 'oh I hate u so much that I can burn you alive by just staring at you ' looks and 'Die Die Die' glares. Eve was so disappointed at being called to present before me last week that she finally voiced it..'the only group that is safe from HER is her blood group'. Oh well...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Being nice is boring.. I have been nice to them, but I want to do what I feel now...just being true to my own self...I feel so like the wicked witch in fairy tales, the one with a prada hat and a nose job turned bad....that is maybe the reason she would have given to herself...that she is being true to her self only, trying to fulfill her desires and not caring for a damned thing in the world.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The only difference in her and me is that despite my black heart and dark intentions, some do like me ..Norhim does, dunno why, he just assumed his position as a good friend, a brother, a partner in crime, as soon as we met. Then the Iranis of course.....they take pleasure in chanting my name aloud in chorus whenever they see me. Even if its in the class break, they would pretend they are meeting me after ages. One day while walking to the bank it occured to me that the group of protesters in front of GSM demanding the university to bring its tuition costs down were chanting my name...wth..!.now I am responsible for the increase in costs of education also? then only I noticed it wasn't actually them, the voices were coming from above, from the top floor of GSM, where the Iranis were hanging three fourth bodies down, calling my name. When I waved back at them , they changed the tune n started dancing to it.. :s and then of course there s Saif...the fat kiddo...a cute little guy who goes all starry eyes n melts down wid shyness whenever he sees me...I can swear at times I have seen him shrink at just my sight...cute lil smurf..!. Last but not the least Im the favorite foreigner of the powerpuff gals ! They not only always offer me snacks n coffee at the break but also teach me all obscure words and vernacular slang in their native language.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
so</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
maybe</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
now that I want to acheive a balance between my rational bitchy self and my irrational decent self, I can spare the ones I like, but Kavita bhenji, Francis and Eve u three are doomed. Kavita for standing next to Prof. in group photo when I had a crush on him, Francis for cheating from me in exam n yet securing better marks and Eve coz I want my victims to be in odd number...:P</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Leaving now...gotta make a few people curse me :D !!!<i>SHOW TIME!!!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-10322852975173815752012-08-23T11:36:00.003-07:002012-08-23T11:42:52.772-07:00The Last Call!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Its been a few years I have been living in two alternate worlds. Sometimes the shift from one world to the other is easy, sometimes its hell lot of difficult. From past one year I think I have lost myself in transition. My thought processes are caught in the maze between the two worlds and I cant get myself out. I have lost friends to this, trust and any prospective relationships. I thought I lost all, but then if I did, I should have been able to pull myself out, yet I cant.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One world is the one I see as real. It works like it should work. I have friends who dont lie to me, people who are trustworthy and truthful about themselves and everything works per the book. The other world is the alternate one. People close to me lie in this world. Deceit and treachery are common norms. No one even gets astonished at this, except from me. In my world, people are not bad. They are just mistaken. In the alternate world they are good, and I am bad. In the alternate world, all mistakes are my mistakes. I am responsible for everything every one does there, coz I bring them into my alternate world and I select the ones who make it as deceitful as it is. I keep on switching on n off moving from one world to another in flicker of an eyelash. As soon as I faintly smell a lie, I step into my alternate world which is just made of lies, agony and pain. I dont live that lie only, but I live all lies over again, and I am losing myself to it. Entangled in strong ruse , my heartbeats slow down and my arms feel frail..... Its draining me of all my strength. All I have is the last call now....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Since long I have wanted to ask for help. For someone to hold on tightly to me and not let me wander to the other world, someone who vows never to lie and lives up to it,someone who does not have a secretive life, someone who does what he says he does, someone who keeps on reminding me he is genuine, all real.....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just hold on to me please and not let me enter the alternate coz I fear when I enter it this time, I may never return.</div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-25056562875250508202012-08-16T12:57:00.000-07:002012-08-16T12:57:25.594-07:00Once upon a time.....<div style="text-align: justify;">
I don't believe in fairy tales anymore. I'm too old to be a part of a fairy tale anyways....the Fairy God Mother maybe, but definitely no one in the lead role. Still I could have believed in them even if for some one else's sake, but dunno why, now I just don't. What used to be my fascination once has now turned into back to back episodes of lurid veracity.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I don't think Cinderella actually did manage to marry the prince. I think prince just kept on believing the evil sister was the long lost love of his life, married her and never lived happily ever after. Whereas Cinderella was married off to an old duke, who had 3 all grown up and aged sons and she died of tuberculosis serving meals to that big family.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Similarly, Snow White still lies in coma, while her 7 brothers ponder upon removing her life support owing to financial constraints.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Rumplestiltskin I believe was just a gynecologist who got one delivery messed up, and though beauty did marry the geek, I mean the beast, but she could never actually fall in love with him...kept having extramarital affairs and eventually died in a sad car accident in Pont de la'Alma tunnel.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ali Baba was simply a bigger and smarter thief than the gang of forty...was having an affair with Merjina out of his wedlock, and lied all along to hide both the facts. Rapunzel was a teenager forced to live with her punjabi grandma who was obsessed with long hair, and red riding hood never could make it to her grandmother's house....the poor grandma just lives in self deception.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hansel and Gretal is sad...even the fairy tale was never able to justify what went on with the kids...and of course as I don't believe in the fairy tales anymore,.... I think they were two kids abandoned at birth, living in an orphan asylum, dreaming of going home. Sad nevertheless,....and painful too...facts twisted into some tales of early misfortune that later transform into a super happy ending, not by any logic, but by sheer magic. Leading us into expecting things which may never happen to us. We live our lives in hope of becoming a part of these fairy tales at some point, and when that doesn't happen, we blame ourselves for not being good enough for it. Why I wrote this post? coz maybe my frog never turned into a prince....true....but then, I was never a princess myself....still.....going on kissing frogs doesn't make much sense, does it?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-79484320381864440392012-08-10T09:02:00.001-07:002012-08-18T06:53:58.352-07:00The revelation!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was hiding again. Getting up in the morning, doing the house chores, clean, clean, clean n clean again....cook something, then lie on the couch, lie on the bed in guest room, lie on the bed in the bedroom, lie on the carpet in front of the television, climb back on the couch n lie there. Hiding, not facing people. why?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No clue!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was just as if something was going to happen....my heart counting beats to the moment when the glass walls will shatter.....Its better this way I keep telling myself and keep my head buried. <b><i>Allah Rehem....</i></b>I see massacres in Burma, I hear screams of Palestinian children, <b><i>rehem, rehem</i></b>... mourning voices chase me wherever I go....they become so loud that I lose my words, my senses at times....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I keep on having visions of blood dripping from Qaddafi's face..I don't recognize this man, I tell myself.... My television shouts Egypt , Iran all day..shows blood drained faces of people in Syria <b><i>rehem malik rehem</i></b>....I hear U.S threatening action against Iran, hear NATO warnings for Syria, U.K sponsoring non -lethal weapons to Syrian opposition, still my glass walls are intact.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I see tanks moving, drones on stand by. The shadow of death is lingering outside my windows, devouring everything with each passing moment....and the mourning voices have started again, <b><i>someone save me from them.</i></b>..I shout and bury my face harder in the pillows. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now I'm afraid everything will fall apart but my glass walls will remain standing.....</div>
Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-15592807670710171582012-08-05T11:33:00.002-07:002012-08-05T12:26:12.113-07:00Award???....U kiddin meh????<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ty for nominating me for the award….u ppl gave me smthng to
do, revive my dead blog, which dunno why but feels good :)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11 Facts about myself:</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Unlike what some people believe about me,
intelligent and all… Im pretty dumb at simple everyday things, took me 2 months
to figure that in order to keep my small carpet in place I can place its
corners under the sofa feet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Im a single mother trying to do the job of two,
cursing myself at the end of the day at failing on so many aspects.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. I have this insane belief that I can do anything
and everything any place anytime….</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Its hard for me to shrug off any weird
challenging thing that comes to my mind…like maybe going through a jungle in
the mid of the night to get a McDonald’s. Il do it if my mind is set to it, no
matter how absurd.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. I am the most shabbily dressed person in the
neighborhood, but manage to look good occasionally when I want to. There are a
few people who don’t even recognize me when im properly dressed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. I like to crumble people by just looking at
them, and I enjoy it thoroughly, though Im not aware myself how I do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Im very soft at heart but turn completely
otherwise when Im angry…all time baloch khopri…goli pehlay martay hain
explanation bad me mangtay hain…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Im a die hard romantic, though on a vacation from
romance for a change…maybe a life long vacation now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. I secretly aspire for big goals, but do not talk
much abt them as I am a pseudo socialist.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10.
Overcritical of situations n people, I dnt judge,
but do jot down my observatiions somewhere, and knowingly let people fool me
coz I just cant see them embarrassed at their attempt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11.
Im a good liar when I choose to lie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Answers to IQ s questions:</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1)
If I were a fruit, I would be a pineapple I guess.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2)
If I were a drink I would be tea.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3)
If I were a season, I would be autumn.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4)
Im not a gadget person, but if essentially I had
to be one then Iguess il either be an i-pod or a steam iron.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5)
If I were a song I would be teray liye hai mera
dil meri jaan by Junaid Jamshed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6)
An animal, I would be a duck:)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7)
I love white so I guess I will be white when it comes to color.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8)
In the whole world, I would be rather at the
couch sitting wid my legs hanging from the side of it, right in front of
television, a cup of tea in my hand….at my mother’s house…<i>PARADISE </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9)
In materialistic things, I would like to have a
televison with a cable connection….chota mind choti choti khawahishain…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10)
The bad habit I would like to get rid of is
overcriticizing people, though I never let it affect our relationship, but as
mentioned earlier I do jot it down somewhere…I would like to rather live in
ignorance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11)
If I were at IQ’s place, I would appeciate my
desire to know more and go through variety of experiences blindfolded.</span></div>
</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-90625556091950787282012-06-08T12:01:00.003-07:002012-06-08T12:15:56.868-07:00Multinomial Logistic Depression<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(Me and Norhim, on the exam day)</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Come il drop you to gsm on my Ferrari...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Where are you going? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Gsm...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Wow, the way you put things...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>I know Im awesome...and I have a car that’s better than your
boyfriend's.</b></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My boyfriend? who? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>There, that Irani...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
How is he my boyfriend? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>He qualifies....</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He is an Irani....How does he qualify? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>So many questions u ask gal !</b></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Whatever.....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Why don’t you people take care of your cars? dents all over...your
gals? other belongings? your chappal is about to break....Is that some sort of national behavior???</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Gals ain’t belongings...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>They are, most precious ones...your plants?</b></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hmm plants I dunno....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Everything else too...a beggar on street is a direct slap to the
mayor's face, n you have enough to make him bleed to death...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Our Govt. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>doesn’t work that
way....our govt. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>counters insider
conflicts, party reconciliation, negative propaganda, armed coups, treacheries....till
the end of term or tenure whichever is lesser, other issues remaining the same.
ceteris paribus.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>You dont make governments for social restructuring, eradication of
unemployment, poverty alleviation, infrastructural and strategic reforms?</b></em>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Nope. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We select legislative assembly so we could criticize it and hinder
implementation of every move they take. Make money out of it, create issues
that we can munch upon on national broadcasts, sell newspapers, have tea,
discuss, great fun it is....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Funny it is...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Where is your car?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Right here...</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That aint no Ferrari man.....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><b>Well, its red....</b></em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-45042054491631533522012-06-06T10:58:00.004-07:002012-06-07T01:35:25.431-07:00Ek kudi jida naam muhabbat...gum hai gum hai gum hai<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ages since I am in search of love, ages since I havent found it....a part of me announces its defeat but a part of me keeps looking for it still. In search of it I have been thorough the junctions of lust, flirt, infatuation, habit even marriage, but it still kept a far away thought, a dream never seen, a symphony never heard. I am well versed with the journey now. I know all the junctions. I know the routines. I know how flirt starts, know about infatuation, how it all gives way to lust, then fades away and burries its head in despair with time. I can predict the future of every person who vows for the journey through all these junctions, I just never reached the last junction. I know when and how it all will happen. I can share their destinies with destiny, yet im clueless about love. My journey has taken centuries to question....what if there is no last junction? What if lust, flirt, n all just generate the mirage of love.....what if the only thing there is journey itself?.....who will give my centuries back to me? who will cure my bare feet?</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-60940921040006996942012-05-31T22:58:00.004-07:002012-05-31T23:12:11.439-07:00Love u woman<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A haircut would freshen up my looks, what do u
think? <em><b>I love it when your hair go curl softly at your shoulders.. at
times I dnt want u to dress up, so I could see thm drying in whirls on your
bare shoulders blades</b></em>..hmm...pagal buddha....guess I should go for
streaks or something, add some color here n there...and these eyebrows....<em><b>you
dnt need anything there, I love the natural arched shape</b></em>...they give
me a sharp look...<em><b>then I love ur sharp look, dont dare touch them...
gals envy brows like you</b></em>....and when did u meet those gals who envy
brows like me?...nvm...Tell u what, saw that weight reduction clinic at
mines...you know they charge? nothing for the first treatment, and 4 inches off
from wherever you want it...<em><b>hell, I adore your proportions, u could work
in the ad of silicon implants</b></em>....not from there obviously, I meant all
that flab...<em><b>lemme bite at it</b></em>....lol...go awayyy....<em><b>no</b></em>
, <em><b>really, one bite</b></em>...wont stop there u know....what if then I
wanna do u? <em><b>u always wanna do me:P</b></em> oh yeahhh...</div>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strong><em>But u look awesome like that...homely,
comfortable, soft, sweet...</em></strong>Im 4 kgs overweight<strong><em>....I dont want a ramp model I
cant snuggle with on a sofa</em></strong>...why you dont want me to look better? <em><b>because
u look amazing...u dont need to hide that smile of yours its my life, nothing
in the world could look better on your eyes than the gleam you wear, at times
naughty, planning some mischief, sometimes comfortingly compassionate, like
sunshine, brightening every thing in life </b></em><em><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">. I so wanna kiss u right
now</span><b> </b><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">:</span></em><em><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">P
</span><b>Aaa paas tujhay bataon.... per such mein, no foundation can do to
your skin what a little peck on your cheeks do...</b></em></div>
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<em><b>You know this tan you wear, just shows how
much you care for the ones that you go out for in blazing scorching sun...your
hair tied up reminds me you woke up early and since then got no time to brush
your hair. Your hands with little knife bruises are better than any manicured
ones in the world, that absorb all my fatigue with just one caressing touch. I
dont need to see you in a flowing evening gown to feel romantic... I just go
crazzzy when u smile at me with a wink….feel like pinning u to the wall n
smooochhhh...</b></em>lolz shut up..u don’t exist.</div>
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Yep,
he doesnt exist but why not? Why cant women be loved like that? Why do we have
to excel or think about excelling all the time? Better looks, better figures,
better care, more work, why on earth do we feel it will render us security?
will guarantee love from the ones we love unconditionally? You want to look
better…look better for yourself, not for anyone else….coz its YOU who gave birth
to love and everything else :)))</div>
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</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-59784121945717253412012-05-25T01:08:00.001-07:002012-05-25T01:15:10.324-07:00Facebook the dispatch rider of affcetion and care...<div style="text-align: justify;">
Facebook triggers lots of debate on its utility. For me however its an exceptional thing that gives all my friends and family the power to wake me up from deep slumber, poke me, kick me, nudge me, while I remain my always bobby don’t care much self, though inside somewhere I am glad I got to know they were still alive n kicking it. </div>
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Another thing that inspires me about online connections is the conflict in social statures of people and their vocal personalities. The vocal personality of a person is a term I designed to refer to what a person projects online. I believe it to be a better predictor of people’s real personality than the real life silhouette, because it lacks the all time obligatory social conformation as a result of a dialogue. Facebook is like addressing the mass audience, project yourself just the way you would like to project yourself. Some of you will call it deception. I call it real self. Everyone would project themselves to be what they would have wanted themselves to be, which tells a lot about them. More real therefore are the virtual lives of people, because there we can always be what we wanted to be. The most sincere expression of ourselves, our desires, our aspirations. Il write about the clash sometime. But for now I just want to tell you how facebook delivers love for me…..have a look at some of the messages I got in just one day……Itna variety to Umro ayyar ki zambeel mein bhi nhi milay gi....her maal bhara para hai.....</div>
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<strong><em>Monica </em></strong> : U still at the asylum?</div>
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<strong><em>Shehzadi</em></strong> : Guddi tu single hai to bol, mera suser free hai aaj kal....</div>
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<em><strong>Manna</strong></em> : Stop liking your own posts :P</div>
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<strong><em>Fahad </em></strong> : Laal chuneriya wali koi meray gher bhi lao....mein kunwara kab tak baithun band mera bajwao...meri shadi kerwao..... meri shadi kerwao.......</div>
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<strong><em>Reza </em></strong>: Israel is 64 now thanks to western life support and I hate the research methods teacher.</div>
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<strong><em>Amay</em></strong> : Please support my Amma wapis kro movement.This wicked roguish girl Maria who happens to be my sister, has abducted my mom to islamabad and has made her forget her lil one whoz miles away. Call Maria NOWWWWW, ask her to send mom back :( I MISS MOM send her back...or its a war..!!! :@ :P</div>
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<strong><em>Maria</em></strong> : Mom is saying the brick u have in name of mobile phone usay apnay sir me mar lay :)</div>
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<strong><em>Ibi </em></strong>: I asked you not to join my Fb...hell , whats the fun in stalking your own family?</div>
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<strong><em>Saim </em></strong> : Phone ki bell kharab hai ya aapka dimagh?</div>
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<em><strong>Sarah</strong></em> : Agar... aaj rat... 8 bjay tak....mujhay call na kiya...... to talak talak talak.</div>
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<strong><em>Asim</em></strong> : Zinda ho....?</div>
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<strong><em>Ali </em></strong>:Tell pa if I want a black bathroom , I want a black bathroom, not a faun one with a hint of black in every 3rd tile....just BLACK</div>
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<strong><em>Maria</em></strong> : Moms worried about you, said u looked pale...so next time u see her on skype have mercy on us all ...APPLY SOME MAKEUP FOR GODSAKES!!!</div>
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Well, some of these cant really be called affectioate, but still coming from the sample of the dayyyy..... the good thing is that no matter how heavy, how light hearted, how crazy is the message....its delivered by the courier in 3 secs:)</div>
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<strong><em>P.S Stop poking me u all.....</em></strong></div>
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<strong><br /><em></em></strong></div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-65519800261299451212012-05-23T08:45:00.000-07:002012-05-23T08:45:01.126-07:00Aakhri padao(Un musafiron kay nam jinhain raastay nigal gye)<br />
<br />
Choti thi to kahani kay liye zid kerti thi<br />
maa kehti thi dopahar ko kahani sunayein to musafir rasta bhool jatay hain<br />
mein kab se chalti ja rahi hun<br />
musafat hai keh berhti ja rahi hai<br />
katati ja rahi hai zindagi<br />
magar rasta hai keh utna hi para hai<br />
na aasra koi na aashna koi<br />
na humsafar na rehnuma<br />
kuch aisay log bhi hain jin ki kismet mein na manzil hai na umeed e manzil<br />
jisay manzil samajhtay hain wo padao hi nikalta hai<br />
chor kay jana perta hai<br />
mein her aik padao pe kuch aansu bahati hun<br />
apnay jism ka aik hissa peechay chor ati hun<br />
kisi anay walay ko shayed kabhi mera nishan milay<br />
mein katatay katatay puray qad se bona ho gyi hun<br />
kohniyon aur ghutnon kay bal ghasitati zindagi<br />
aglay padao tak kabhi na pohanch paye gi<br />
ab faqat ik iltija hai<br />
wo jo kahin kahani suna raha hai<br />
usay kaho keh ab mein zid nhi kerti<br />
bas kuch der ko khamosh ho jaye<br />
mein behad thak chuki hun<br />
mujhay ab bas yehein aram kerney dey.......Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-78672567655838058102012-05-22T01:01:00.002-07:002012-05-22T01:06:24.780-07:00Mein nhi manti :PMein nhi manti.....<br />
rasm ko rivaj ko<br />
apnay banaye huay samaj ko<br />
hath ki lakeeron ko<br />
miteti badalti tasweeron ko<br />
aankh kay nazaron ko<br />
taqdeer kay sitaron ko<br />
nahi manti mein<br />
keh meri aankhon mein ab aansu hi rehna chahiyen<br />
keh meray chehray pe soch ki lakerain hi meri izzat ka saman hain<br />
keh meri mang mein ab sitaray nhi chamkain gay<br />
keh mein khilkhila kay hans paron to ye kainat chaunk jaye gi<br />
hairat se apni ungli danton mein daba lay gi<br />
aur agar aisa hai........<br />
to mujhay isay neend se jaganay do<br />
mujhay muskuranay do<br />
mujhay apnay chehray pe soch ki lakeer nhi<br />
aankh kay neechay gal pe til acha lagta hai<br />
muskuratay lab danton me daba kr bat kerti hun<br />
to duniya sochnay lagti hai<br />
ye do bachon ki maa hai aur aankhon mein sharart kot kay bhari<br />
sarak pe stroller kay sath bachon se race lagati<br />
hansti<br />
khilkhilati<br />
chehray pe lagi ice cream chatati to kabhi zor se gungunati<br />
ye kaisi do bachon ki maa hai?<br />
isay ranjeeda bepanah hona chahiye<br />
iski hasti fana hona chahiye<br />
<br />
to sun lo duniya kay thekedaro<br />
mein nhi manti keh meri zindagi wo aik saya tha jo juda ho gya<br />
mein nhi manti keh us kay sath mera wajud fana ho gya<br />
meri aankhon mein jab tak roshni hai<br />
mein tum ko jhutlati rahungi<br />
mein muskurati rahun gi......................:)))Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-52910600146299468982012-05-09T12:17:00.001-07:002012-05-09T12:23:07.936-07:00Domain name Love is not available !<div style="text-align: justify;">
I havent told you, but have moved your pictures from My Own folder to Pictures only....have blocked you from skype.....and have deleted your number from my phone contact list. </div>
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Today I have not tried enlarging your pic to see my reflection in your eyes,......Today I have not updated my FB status as a song dedicated to you, the first day I wont be up at 4.00 a.m to talk to you, today I told you we all were humans and I forgive you for being with her. Today I am not going to say I love you before I go to sleep....</div>
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Il talk to you meri jaan, Il laugh with you, Il kiss you, Il hug u, Il bug u , even will joke to you about her, but I will never say that three word sentence again that starts from an I and ends at a You....Today is the first day that I have started using this smiley :)......and the first day I have started lying to you............</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-9814819618660460192012-05-09T11:38:00.002-07:002012-05-09T11:43:00.457-07:00The echo of that undying laughter !!!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have always wanted my life to be a tea house evening, where people can just be themselves, voice their opinions,chat around, have fun and never leave. Never leave is the most important part. Shall never leave....they can just move around....maybe to some other room, but on the table, thier cups placed, the burning cigarettes in ash tray, the chairs pulled back, they are destined to return. Even those who left for good, havent really left the coffee house, the feel of their presence still lingers in there as if some guest had left dunhill aroma hanging in the room.</div>
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One of these pulled back chairs is of Haroon mamoon. <strong><em>Why cant u say my proper name? he used to say....Haw maw keh k chup ho jati hai chudail....</em></strong></div>
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The most cheerful person I had ever seen in my life. Derived fun out of every single moment, living life to its fullest...even passed away smiling..... A criminal lawyer by profession, he was by far more colorful than black and white. Every month created new issues. Controversies following him everywhere like some celebrated child. <strong><em>What has happened now?</em></strong> My father would ask my mother....<strong><em>Nothing, Haroon slapped a judge....contempt....mooney is trying hard to tackle it.</em></strong> Always the same story. Haroon , the younger brother will create trouble and Permoon, the elder one will try to manage it somehow and deal with the mess. Both complete opposites of each other, the elder a civil lawyer, rich , well connected, an obedient son, a total contrast to Haroon, who was very cheerful and loving but never knew the right way to express himself. Too emotional for words....and most of the time short of money, life exuded all its charm and joys personified as him.</div>
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We were eight cousins, him having one in his lap while driving the car, kuki aunty having another in her lap a total of 10......and he would do 360 degrees in front of our school. Would shout names of all kids from above the gate even before the school was off, and kept shouting till the kids gave him response individually from every class and run off to him even before the bell rang. Once we would come out, he would say <strong><em>come on ....double up, bubble up seven up....</em></strong>and wel all fit in the car in seconds.....no use though, we always got home late, as most of the time, we would be chasing one woman or the other in the car. He would chase down women in burqa and screech at their heels, many a times some fled out of the burka...all for a simple childlike laugh....</div>
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I used to see him give 500 out of his pocket, mayb the last ones left, to a beggar. <strong><em>Nothing in the world can replace this look of sheer joy and surprise on his face</em></strong> , he would say. That was when I learned how to let someone live a second , a minute of your life for the mere joy of it. </div>
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A friend more than a father to his children, <strong><em>I dnt allow them to talk unless they swear multiple times in a sentence. Im making them learn their mother language punjabi</em></strong> ....<strong><em>no good widout swearing.....</em></strong>He always gave special importance to his daughter Jella as he called her.....<strong><em>mujhay ishq hai is sabz aankhon wali sey</em></strong> ....Even when she was doing her masters in the University and he was teaching there in Law department, they would walk arm in arm in the campus like two love birds <strong><em>Aik amman, doosri kuki, teesri jella, chothi teri maa..... </em></strong></div>
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Always asking grand ma if he was the nicest of them all.....<strong><em>Amman mein sab se acha hun na...mooney, memi, jonny, rani sab se acha na? Haan tu mera sab se acha beta hai</em></strong> shed say.....</div>
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<strong><em>sab se chota sab se acha sab se ladla ab khush....bs zara badtameez hai , thora nak cherha, thora..... To amman sen fir 9 chak wali zameen apnay nam samjhun???...hath kamina.....phuphiyon pe gaya hai puray ka pura.....</em></strong></div>
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Last days, I never knew those were the last ones...heard him saying to mom<strong><em>.....rani ye mooney sari zindagi sab se acha beta bana raha, sab se acha lawyer...sab se acha insan...mein is jaisa banay ki koshish kerta tha per kabhi ban nhi paya....aur ab kameena sab se acha bhai bhi ban gya...hitler kay mujh pe itna ehsan hain k agar kahay haroon sari zindagi aik tang pe kharay ho kay nacho to mein nachunga....shhhh</em></strong> mom said <strong><em>bhai hai....ehsan kaisa</em></strong></div>
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His last day all were around him.....Grand ma 's sister whos a doc also holding his hand....I remember him saying...<strong><em>beeshy sharam kro, khud qabar mein paon latkaye baithi ho aur mujh pe ro rhi ho.....</em></strong>then all of a sudden he started saying Kalima and left us all crying. In a few seconds, a long story of unfulfilled desires saw its end, him stepped out, abandoning all his dreams in a flick of a second. The ordinary yet not so ordinary life of an extraordinary person...The one who taught me how to face adversity with a smiling face and no harm in slapping it at times too....The one who told me the cure to your aching heart only lies in curing others hearts....The one who laughed all his worries away in smoke of his cigarettes. Who taught me a very non serious non realistic approach towards life that always worked.... <strong><em>the only way it should be</em></strong> he said. All his words, the cheerful voice echoing in my mind still....bringing my tea house to life his laughter still lingers there and the way he would say <strong><em>haye thak gya</em></strong> after a series of continuous laughs often makes me smile again.</div>
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Days after, I kept on thinking what was it....where had I seen that smile that his lips carried when he departed.....but could never place it. It was just yesterday when looking at some pics I remembered where I had seen that smile before.....and I knew exactly what it was, the contentment he looked for all his life, he found that in his last moments......</div>
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<strong><em>Amman mein sab se acha beta hun na? Han han tu mera sab se acha beta hai....ab Khush?</em></strong></div>
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(In memory of my late Uncle , May he rest in Peace)</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-32464318052313809332012-05-01T11:35:00.002-07:002012-05-01T21:59:34.446-07:00Kingkong and fried bananas!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Enough of the serious thoughts, lets come back to life with Norhim on the next seat....Yes, Norhim the most unbelievably random person I have ever met in my life.......my class mate. The fact that he is an engineer doing Ph.D in Human Resource Management is enough to reflect on the sort of character he is. This is a tribute to him. </div>
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My interaction with Norhim which he terms as intimate (dunno y..I swear I never flirted with him in the least sense of the word) is a perceivable outcome of my love for sitting at the last seat in the class which incidentally is nearby the electrical socket and Norhim's need to log in on facebook and charge his mobile to do pervert chat with his wife. She is asleep when I finally manage to reach home he says....Here are a few quips from our most intelligent discussions, my contribution to which is always restricted to Oh, is it....yes and no. Rest I always speak silently in my heart.</div>
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I know you are intelligent....I can see it from the way you eat chocolate and lick the wrapper even when theres most serious topic under discussion in class.,,,,<strong><em>if licking the wrapper makes u intelligent, u can lick it once i eat all the chocolate...</em></strong>see and u r generous too :)</div>
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Hey all, she is a double masters.. and her father is a cabinet minister.....<strong><em>double masters</em></strong> <em><strong>oh yeshh.....cabinet minister</strong>?</em> <strong><em>u insane??????</em></strong></div>
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I will once come to Pakistan and make a documentary on tamil tigers.....<strong>but we dont have tamil tigers.....</strong>then khalistani gorillas<strong>....we dont have Khalistan Gorillas too</strong>.......King Kong????</div>
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I am still single<strong>....u r married norhim</strong>....no but at times she makes me sleep on a single bed...that renders me as single...I can marry three more times in different nationalities so I could have beautiful and Intelligent kids, a well diversified portfolio....U free for drinks tonight?</div>
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Coconut tree has a different male and female. So when its mating season......they show them porn.</div>
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Hey Siti, when are u divorcing your present hubby....<strong><em>u think Im mad</em></strong>....<strong><em>y in the hell would I divorce him?</em></strong></div>
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<strong><em>Il kill him.....</em></strong></div>
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Where were u? never dare to go to library alone....there are bad spirits there, take me along.....Im worse :D <strong><em>Oh Yeahhhh</em></strong></div>
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U still firm about not having drinks? <br />
dinner? <br />
fried bananas?????</div>
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<strong><em>At every dinner gong we heard</em></strong>,,,,,,,,,,,,,,. Follow me my angel......<strong><em>What the....Ok lets go !!!</em></strong></div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-82652026397295538082012-04-30T10:48:00.001-07:002012-04-30T10:48:22.274-07:00The Graveyard where all my words rest in peace !<div style="text-align: justify;">
Some friends asked me today if I wrote a blog. I never wanted to tell anyone I did, but a few had already found it out somehow so I had to tell all. And when I was telling them I wrote, my inner self was laughing profusely at me. <strong><em>Words,</em></strong> my innerself pointed out me....<strong><em>words she wrote have no meaning, carry no weight....she never uttered the words she most wanted to.....she shunned those in herself like some terminal disease. And now she worships them. Words she will never get a chance to say again, offers her tears to all those words in compensation for expression, still not indemnifying.</em></strong></div>
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Yes I admit, this is not the real me...writing , blabbering, claiming expression. The real me is still standing at the graveyard of words. My voice lost in silence of guilt, tears of expression in eyes im still mourning my dead words.</div>
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I felt those words yearning in my heart, felt warmth of their expression, conveyed feeling that they possessed, still never said them. I write because this sinful silence is killing me every single second.</div>
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In a flashback I see the ICU of central Military Hospital. On the bed next to my son was an 8 yr old boy suffering from some haemorrhage disease. Prognosis negative, a doc told me..... a few days left. I looked at the pale face of the boy, and his blue hands n feet....somewhere turned black with internal bleeding. <strong><em>''Madam ji aap bat kro baray doctor se....aap perhi likhi ho aap ki bat suntay hain....mera bacha kab tak theek ho jayega? kehtey hain karachi lay jao...lay to jaon per kaisay?us kay bhi paisay nhi...in ko bolo ji paisay maaf kr dein hum bad me lota dein gay..</em></strong>.'' I had some money in my bag, I placed it silently near her, a brief pat on her shoulders and came back. Angrezi bolnay wali madam could never tell that simple woman that her son was dying.......that moment, I wanted to shout at her at the top of my voice....<strong><em>do something, he is dying.....do smthing....go pray.....beg, beg for his life...hold his hand tight..... place his head in your lap....they cant take him away from you if u never let them.....dont let them....dnt even blink an eye or ur most precious one will be taken away by those merciless hands....just hold him, absorb his sight in your mind....trace his features so u may never forget them.........</em></strong></div>
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Never uttered a word and came back. I knew she knew, but was in state of self denial. Maybe If I said all that to her, she wont have slept that night.......that extra hour.......those extra 10 mins.....she will never get those ever in her life..........the guilt kills me.......per me kahan se lati wo lafz jo aik maa ko bata sakain kay uska beta mer jayega.......meray sab lafz kho gaye thay us samay...shayed main bhi...</div>
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Another grave I stand by my eyes closed......I can hear myself....<em>As a favour, you should always lie to me from now onwards....whenever I ask, u say u had loved me more than anyone. But thats true, I can hear him say...I have loved you more than all......</em><strong>Bullshit</strong> I wanted to say.....but never said it. <em>I will always be the way I am, me, you or no one can change it......and this is killing you I know....you can not survive it, no one can......for your sake, for sake of your happiness, ur life, we should seperate.</em>.........<strong>Bullshit</strong>......<em>jo tumhari jagah hai wo sirf tumhari rahay gi.</em>....<strong>Bullshit</strong>............<em>ye tumhara bed hai...unme se koi yahan kabhi nhi..</em>........<strong>Bullshit</strong>.........<em>tum mujhay samajhti ho, sirf tum samajhti ho.........tumhain maloom hai yehi sahi hai....me nhi badal paonga aur tum seh nhi sako gi</em>...<strong>bullshit......</strong><em>Mujhay maloom hai tum mujhay maaf kr do gi</em>...<strong><em>me ne pyar kya tha khud ko baicha nhi tha............mujh se achi to prostitute hoti hain......me to muft me bik gyi...sirf muhabbat kay nam pe bik gyi.</em></strong>...<em></em><strong>Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit !!!</strong></div>
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Sab lafz meray ander dum tor gaye.........no one around, no one to help.....and in months, he called me once....when someone told him I had died in giving birth to his child, he called......called to confirm....<em>must be an april fool joke</em>, I said.....<strong><em>U think Im alive? ages since I havent breathed happiness</em></strong>.......... I could never say that. </div>
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<strong><em>Im afraid of the dark.....I cant live alone......I want someone around me</em></strong>....Never said it all. All my words gave up on me.</div>
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and then yesterday.........<em>aur koi masla pareshani</em>......I laughed ...laughed n laughed till I had tears in my eyes.....<em>nhi kuch bhi nhi</em> !!!</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-88797082448179227362012-04-29T01:14:00.005-07:002012-05-11T12:13:48.020-07:00.....thy name is perfidy !!!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I havent been able to understand women...being one myself I can never believe the underlying logic of our actions. Impulses they say, true, but mostly we pretend to be acting on impulses. Whatever we do is all pre contrived. Im a woman too, I do it all too, but theres somethng in me continuously fighting this inborn urge to pretend and betray, still I end up only doing it all in a finer manner. But today im going to put an end to it by warning people what we are all about. Twister was nice in saying anyone could be a bitch, even men. Very polite of him, but mostly its only us. Except for a rare few, most of us fall in one or more categories. Myself I can easily classify in three of his categories.....abundance or <strong><em>WHATTTT!!!</em></strong></div>
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For one thing, we are the most un grateful creatures on the earth. On a date, most women would want their date to be just themselves....<strong><em>NOT REALLY !!!</em></strong> their definition of ''being themselves'' is nothing less than a Brad Pitt in branded shoes and clothes, driving a luxury car, taking them to a five star with a seven course menu,and ofcourse a person playing violin while they dine. Thats too much you would say...ah no.......we need them to bring a diamond ring too. And when and if they go down on their knees, we go like<strong><em> OMG, WHAT A WEIRDO...WHO PROPOSES ON FIRST DATE MAN???</em></strong></div>
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Still I tell you, anything short of it, its not a good date. Talking about being un grateful, a simple looking plain girl with a little style and itsy bitsy titsies would go like....</div>
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<strong>About her best friend who loves her secretly:</strong></div>
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He is always there for me....I feel like I can say <strong><em>anyyything</em></strong> to him and he would never judge me....he is such a sweetheart, meri saheli hai woh....but theres somethng so feminish about him na, being with a girl all the time and saying awww awww at whatever I say or do. He is funny and I feel protected with him, but romance??? <strong><em>NO WAY!!!</em></strong></div>
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<strong>About a nice guy who asked her out on a date:</strong></div>
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<em>What did he think? Me koi aisi wesi lerki hun kya!!!</em></div>
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<strong>About a random guy who was just being nice to her in parking lot by offering his parking space :</strong></div>
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<em>Lerki dekhi nhi aur lattooo ho gye....By God what a creep!!!!</em></div>
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<strong>About the guy she is about to dump:</strong></div>
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<em>He is just too possessive and I need my space and whats more zara bhi manly nhi hai .....papa se pocketmoney leta hai..... ...huh</em></div>
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<strong>About her flirtatious n bitching ex:</strong></div>
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<em>I dont think I can ever move on......just love him soooooo much.</em></div>
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<em>AWWWW.....................</em></div>
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Telling you, we do not deserve sympathies. Tactfully we make the majority waive off their rights to us so we could enjoy our lives more.</div>
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The sole reason why we are descriminated against is that we want to be descriminated against. Ask any gal how shes doing...and she'd be either ...<strong><em>im toooooooo awesome.:D</em></strong> or O<em><strong>h Im so tired</strong></em>...nothing in between, both asking for more attention, just in a different way. And they actually get the attention. The guy could be a fire fighter, working 8 hrs straight to fight a fire down, rescuing ppl, and still we go awww my baby to the gal who was tired coz she went shopping and and partying. =/</div>
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Read the descriminating facebook too n here I quote : The girl's status reads <strong><em>''OMG I just love this new pink dress''</em></strong>....<em>101 likes</em>.....Boy's <strong><em>'' I just won Nobel prize''</em></strong> <em>2 likes</em>....of which one is he himself. Girl's status..<strong><em>''I wanna ride a bus one day''</em></strong> comments : <em>aww honey, take me wid u plzzzz</em> ...Boy's <strong><em>'' I wanna ride a bus''</em></strong> comment : <em>conductor lag ja tu. Abbay ne cycle nhi ley k di to bus me hi jayega na kamina sala.</em></div>
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Trust a psychopath, a serial killer , maybe Bush too....but never trust a crying woman. We are the strongest creatures on planet earth, hell yeah.. why wud we cry except for the time we want to do emotional atyachar on someone? Trust me, if a woman can give birth to a child , she can do anything in the world. I know many men, and none I think can ever be able to go for a delivery even if they wanted to. They are just too fragile for it....if u knw what I mean!</div>
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Similarly, never trust an over sweet one.......a gal with the other........<strong><em>meri jaaaan mwahhhh mwahhh...kahan theiiiiiiin? i missed u soooooo much sweetoo.</em></strong>....after she leaves.....<strong><em>WHAT A TWO FACED BITCH</em></strong>....exxxxcuse me?????</div>
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By the way, that classifies me as a traitor too.....in case something happens to me, u should know where to look for.</div>
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P.S dnt hate me all :((( <strong><em><smirrrrrrk></em></strong></div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-2922363811732941372012-04-26T00:40:00.000-07:002012-04-26T00:50:32.469-07:00My chocolate cream soldier !!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xYf0c-f4029AoL5lbnwP7Mk2PW2mtNIZ_z9K19xq1RgRT-PYTnu-pKW1hSlL64sEPB2UK7Amn8gihxzX2zoS6Kv1X8A4V584ZS-dMeTWercaWRuzUeYhJKBxQswaefR8zLgmqrh63cs/s1600/7558921-ears-of-ripe-wheat-on-a-background-a-sun-in-the-evening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xYf0c-f4029AoL5lbnwP7Mk2PW2mtNIZ_z9K19xq1RgRT-PYTnu-pKW1hSlL64sEPB2UK7Amn8gihxzX2zoS6Kv1X8A4V584ZS-dMeTWercaWRuzUeYhJKBxQswaefR8zLgmqrh63cs/s1600/7558921-ears-of-ripe-wheat-on-a-background-a-sun-in-the-evening.jpg" /></a></div>
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It all started when I saw a dream from someones eyes......no wait, before I go to elaborate, be clear its again hallucinations. Though I want it to be as real as is possible for God. <em><strong>And yeah Romey I will see someone soon about my hallucinations</strong>.....</em> where was I? yes....It all started when I saw a dream, some one else' s dream it was....I borrowed for a night....fields, sun setting smwhere behind, a river flowing, windmills I added myself, and air blowing my hair....the damsel in distress and the chocolate cream soldier......</div>
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A teenager, I read Arms and the man , and I was like if I was ever granted one wish, Il ask for a custom made chocolate cream soldier for myself.... years passed by never met anyone even close to it and when I had lost all hope,and thought maybe the factory had shut down, mayb they dnt make em anymore....there he was...brewing storms... standing firm for his beliefs, fighting for his friends.</div>
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My Chocolate cream soldier.....beyond all standards, all limits......where I think all kindness ends there I see a soft kindle in his eyes......where I think words cant wield the matter, there I see heart rending expression in his simple wrecked sentences.....when I think there ends all the care in the world, theres his compassionate embrace around my shoulders.</div>
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A soft voice reminding me, never delete me from your life no matter what happens, no matter how distant we grow, be back in three days as if you went no where.....<em><strong>Heyy</strong></em>, my heart shouts, <strong><em>I get to say this, and u get to violate it. Thats the way it goes</em>.....<em>No</em>,</strong> he says, <strong>we say this and we shall abide by it</strong>. <strong><em>Applies to u too</em>?</strong> I ask in surprise, <em><strong>Me more</strong></em> is the answer.......</div>
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Hallucinations..............</div>
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<em><strong>We will cross the road together and with your gait of a lost goat juuuuuust when u are about to get hit by the car, il pull u bk n say...''Buddhiya andhi ho kya''?</strong></em></div>
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<em><strong>Il carry balle on my back n run........we are gud together we dont need uuuuuuuu...</strong></em></div>
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<em><strong>I want to be a millionaire to help the poor and needy. Wel rob a bank soon, and ul b my partner in crime.....says Robin Hood.</strong></em></div>
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<strong><em>Seemingly hard, but melts at a touch.....my chocolate cream soldier</em>.</strong></div>
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All Hallucinations?</div>
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Nah...<em><strong>thori haqeeqat thora fasana</strong></em>.....but people like that do exist...somewhere in the world, People who know the meaning of love, passion, kindness, care, benevolence and who stand firm against all adversity. Just look around ... </div>
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<br /></div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-24398217612689916502012-04-26T00:33:00.005-07:002012-04-26T00:33:57.643-07:00All you positivists get a soul!!!<div style="text-align: justify;">
The age that we are living in the the age of reductionsim. We reduce dimensions on a positivist criteria. Sucks Big Time !!!</div>
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Positivism cant even define a human. All advancements in science and theory consider humans as an integrated set of mind and body. Flesh and thinking processes, replication of which is artificial intelligence. Thus, in a positivist regime, you are not allowed to have a soul, coz positivism cant account for a soul.</div>
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I better be born in dark ages....</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8360876976039019269.post-72420773198649916902012-04-25T01:59:00.001-07:002012-04-25T09:50:49.652-07:00Khushiyon ki Home Delivery.... :D<div style="text-align: justify;">The exact moment Dominos pizza was being delivered at my place I noted an ambulance by the next block. My heart sank. It was one of those days nothing was turning out well. And anyways, how can the presence of an ambulance be an indication of something good happening there. Well it was.....</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I saw a doctor hurry back to the ambulance with a small covered parcel in hand. I went over and ask him ..What happened here?.....<em>BABY BOY </em> his reply came....and all of a sudden all the gloom in my heart flew away and I chuckled. It was so uncalled for that the doc first saw me in surprise then began laughing...We laughed like crazies.....ignoring the presence of others around, the pizza boy waiting with change, the new mom taken by surprise at our celebration, the worried father whose every wrinkle of face was fading away with each laugh and the neighbors hung on their reilings wondering what was going on there. The whole world faded away at that moment and we laughed till the mournful grey evening looked at us in awe and smiled herself......</div>Bluehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04583681425836956318noreply@blogger.com4