Its been a few years I have been living in two alternate worlds. Sometimes the shift from one world to the other is easy, sometimes its hell lot of difficult. From past one year I think I have lost myself in transition. My thought processes are caught in the maze between the two worlds and I cant get myself out. I have lost friends to this, trust and any prospective relationships. I thought I lost all, but then if I did, I should have been able to pull myself out, yet I cant.
One world is the one I see as real. It works like it should work. I have friends who dont lie to me, people who are trustworthy and truthful about themselves and everything works per the book. The other world is the alternate one. People close to me lie in this world. Deceit and treachery are common norms. No one even gets astonished at this, except from me. In my world, people are not bad. They are just mistaken. In the alternate world they are good, and I am bad. In the alternate world, all mistakes are my mistakes. I am responsible for everything every one does there, coz I bring them into my alternate world and I select the ones who make it as deceitful as it is. I keep on switching on n off moving from one world to another in flicker of an eyelash. As soon as I faintly smell a lie, I step into my alternate world which is just made of lies, agony and pain. I dont live that lie only, but I live all lies over again, and I am losing myself to it. Entangled in strong ruse , my heartbeats slow down and my arms feel frail..... Its draining me of all my strength. All I have is the last call now....
Since long I have wanted to ask for help. For someone to hold on tightly to me and not let me wander to the other world, someone who vows never to lie and lives up to it,someone who does not have a secretive life, someone who does what he says he does, someone who keeps on reminding me he is genuine, all real.....
Just hold on to me please and not let me enter the alternate coz I fear when I enter it this time, I may never return.